Holiday gatherings can feel like emotional minefields for anyone struggling with food or their body.
If you love someone who struggles with food, body image, or their weight — in any body size — please read the following for ways you can genuinely help:
It’s not just people who are very underweight. It’s the person who also:
• is constantly dieting or “making up for” what they ate
• feels out of control around certain foods
• skips meals or hides how little they’re eating
• secretly binges or purges
• avoids eating in front of others
• works out to “earn” or “burn off” food
• hates how they look in photos and avoids being in them, or can’t stop checking their body in mirrors, reflections, or by pinching, weighing, or measuring themselves
Please avoid body comments and food policing this season.
Even “positive” comments can hurt:
“You look so well!”
“You look better now.”
“You’re so thin / you look amazing.”
“You don’t even look sick.”
For many people with an eating disorder,
“you look well/better” can be translated as:
“You’ve gained weight.”
“You’re fat.”
And food comments can be just as harmful:
“Are you getting seconds?”
“Do you really need that?”
“Wow, you’ve eaten a lot.”
“I wish I could eat like that.”
“Be good… you can work it off tomorrow.”
These kinds of comments can fuel restriction, bingeing, purging, obsessive guilt and shame — regardless of someone’s body size.
Instead of focusing on what they eat or how they look, try focusing on them:
“It’s really good to see you.”
“I’m really glad you’re here.”
“How have you been feeling lately?”
“Is there anything that would make today easier for you?”
Small shifts in language can make holiday spaces feel safer and softer for the people you love.
If you’re supporting someone with eating struggles and it feels like a lot to carry, you are not alone.
Reach out. We are here to help.
